this time

(not so)
cautiously looking toward tomorrow
realizing finally that
i am not an island
nor do i wish to be
(any longer)

selfish though – want it on my terms
(this time)
not fully cured...yet
still hope for me

even if my heart cracks
and i have to buy stock in kleenex
i won’t have a sour grapefruit face
and i won’t let my heart shrivel
into something pea sized and unrecognizable
because i can’t have it
(this time)

not only am i reaching out for
what i want
i’m not going to be shy
about putting it out there either
where has keeping it to myself
gotten me in the past
i ask you?

so lookout
you may get more
than you’ve bargained for

then again, maybe not