i've always had problems sleeping
but these last few years have grown worse
and my dreams have started again.
i thought i had put certain things to rest,
but they've snuck into my dreams and
it's like the years never went by at all it's so fresh.
i had the dream about steve again -
it's been years since i went to his parents house
and looked in the drawer knowing i would find
the sparkly purple rock just like he said i would -
but i had the whole dream - even the worst bits -
maybe there's something going on that i don't understand yet
and i just have to wait and see - but i'm so tired
and all i want is
to sleep 3 hours in a row -
is that asking too much?
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Thursday, December 9, 2004
low tide
time slipped from her slim wrist
as she lay drowning
on dry land
while corpulent clouds of acquiescence hovered
like a velvety blue blanket of exhaled smoke
to smother her protestations
long before she tried opening her mouth.
she had a gift for silence
it seemed to ebb right out of her
as she lay drowning
on dry land
while corpulent clouds of acquiescence hovered
like a velvety blue blanket of exhaled smoke
to smother her protestations
long before she tried opening her mouth.
she had a gift for silence
it seemed to ebb right out of her
Saturday, December 4, 2004
Friday, December 3, 2004
one shot
see what happens
when you don't let
the gates down?
one shot
even though
(you said)
not so
i knew it would be
so the rest seemed
to follow my
natural pattern
of parry and
thrust -
not the good kind
(and in the opposite direction anyway)
so here i sit
hoarding my regret
but you knew all along
(for one day)
that there was
nothing to fear
nothing to doubt
when you don't let
the gates down?
one shot
even though
(you said)
not so
i knew it would be
so the rest seemed
to follow my
natural pattern
of parry and
thrust -
not the good kind
(and in the opposite direction anyway)
so here i sit
hoarding my regret
but you knew all along
(for one day)
that there was
nothing to fear
nothing to doubt
Thursday, December 2, 2004
deeply rooted
i can't eat or sleep
or think or talk
this steady loop of white noise
roars inside my head
decisions to be made
forms to fill out
i pray the words will come
and that they'll be the right ones
or think or talk
this steady loop of white noise
roars inside my head
decisions to be made
forms to fill out
i pray the words will come
and that they'll be the right ones
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