just in case you have too much time on your hands...

from the How-To section on my custom-built Google homepage. jealous, right? spinning pencil? you can also learn how to make chocolate milk?!
i didn't read them, so i don't know if they work - i don't have THAT much time on my hands...!

hey - have a great weekend everybody.
happy BBQ'ing

so, i’m in love.

his name is Francisco X. Alarcón.
though we shall not likely meet, his poetry is enough.
he wrote this collection called Snake Poems, an Aztec Invocation.
ok, check this out –
in 1629, Hernando Ruiz de Alarcón, a catholic priest from Atenango
(in what’s now the state of Guerrero, Mexico) wrote a manuscript on
Native American beliefs called Tratado de las supersticiones y costumbres
gentílicas que oy viven entre los indios naturales desta Nueva España.
in english that’s Treatise on the superstitions and heathen customs that today live among the Indians Native to this New Spain. not a good guy, this Alarcón.
he wrote to expose the ‘heathen’ practices among the Indians to extend the repressive practices of the Spanish Inquisition . but the interesting thing was that by writing all these spells and curing remedies down he created the only comprehensive compilation in existence. so a few hundred years later, along comes Francisco X of the same last name and he makes poetry out of it while passing along the knowledge. his poetry is spare, but only in actual word count.
the ones that he chooses resonate and seem to echo from the head to the heart
and back again. absolutely spellbinding. here are a few so you can see what i mean.

I’m Not Really Crying
it’s just
the sheer
number
of chopped
onions
in the world

Mestizo
my name
is not
Francisco
there is
an Arab
within me
who prays
three times
each day
behind
my Roman
nose
there is
a Phoenician
smiling
my eyes
still see
Sevilla
but
my mouth
is Olmec
my dark
hands are
Toltec
my cheekbones
fierce
Chichimec
my feet
recognize
no border
no rule
no code
no lord
for this
wanderer’s
heart

Never Alone
always
this caressing
Wind
this Earth
whispering
to our feet
this boundless
desire
of being
grass
tree
corazón

Day and Night
I bleed
in silence
all alone

Martín
Mariana
Domingo

in fields
in streets
in cells
my fists
hit
walls
whips
undress
my ribs
from
my mouth
come out
broken teeth
blood
butterflies

some news and some books

i may be obssessed about Easter Island but i just really, really want to go.


if you're still in college trying to figure out what to major in and you're kind of - well, really smart, think about psychometrics. it's all about academic test-makers. very interesting stuff.

talk about big brother! watching television isn't obnoxious enough?

seal your secrets... and have them displayed on 44th street?!


1. kim stanley robinson's Forty Signs of Rain
2. lynn foster's A Brief History of Central America
3. jim sagel's El Santo Queso: Cuentos
4. jaime suchlicki's Mexico: From Montezuma to NAFTA, Chiapas, and Beyond
5. celia wakefield's Under the Tabachin Tree: A New Home in Mexico
6. eric burdon's Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
7. mark kurlansky's Boogaloo on 2nd Avenue

walking the dog has been made much more pleasant in recent days. one being the nice warm weather and the second being the delivery of an ipod that my employer promised me months ago. she got them (3) for free from some fundraising chick she knows. so yay for me! and i went out and spent 30 bucks (why are all ipod accessories 30 bucks, BTW?) on one of those arm band thingies. so now there's a new bounce to my step at 6 freakin 45 AM!!

books - no, i haven't stopped reading just

been real lazy about posting...

1) john ketwig's ...and a hard rain fell

2) uzodinma iweala's Beasts of No Nation

3) mary gaitskill's Veronica

4) mirta ojito's Finding Mañana: A Memoir of a Cuban Exodus

5) campbell mcgrath's Pax Atomica: Poems

6) ken dornstein's The Boy Who Fell Out of the Sky: A True Story

7) mario vargas llosa's The Feast of the Goat

8) julia alvarez's How the Garcia Girls Lost their Accents

9) julia alvarez's In the Time of the Butterflies

10) elizabeth strout's Abide With Me

11) christopher moore's The Stupidest Angel

12) christopher moore's A Dirty Job: A Novel

13) sonia nazario's Enrique's Journey

14) edward james olmos (editor) Vietnam Veteranos : Chicanos Recall the War

15) victor serge's The Case of Comrade Tulayev

16) mikhail bulgakov's The Master and Margarita

i love this poem a day thing...

Permanently
-Kenneth Koch


One day the Nouns were clustered in the street.
An Adjective walked by, with her dark beauty.
The Nouns were struck, moved, changed.
The next day a Verb drove up, and created the Sentence.

Each Sentence says one thing—for example, "Although it was a dark rainy
day when the Adjective walked by, I shall remember the pure and sweet
expression on her face until the day I perish from the green, effective
earth."
Or, "Will you please close the window, Andrew?"
Or, for example, "Thank you, the pink pot of flowers on the window sill
has changed color recently to a light yellow, due to the heat from the
boiler factory which exists nearby."

In the springtime the Sentences and the Nouns lay silently on the grass.
A lonely Conjunction here and there would call, "And! But!"
But the Adjective did not emerge.

As the Adjective is lost in the sentence,
So I am lost in your eyes, ears, nose, and throat—
You have enchanted me with a single kiss
Which can never be undone
Until the destruction of language.


beautiful day today. i'm heading out with the dog...

more step, less hobble

so my friend christina is working at the Center for Sex & Culture in San Francisco for the next couple of months. in addition to all the cataloging she's doing, she also attends events there. i spoke to her yesterday and she told me about the one they had the night before - something about sex and superheroes - i dunno. but she told me about this really drunk woman who got pissy with her (she was working the door) because there was no smoking allowed in the room and if she wanted to smoke, she had to go down 2 flights of stairs. robert, christina's boss asked her what was going on and she told him about the obnoxious drunk lady. he asked her where she went and christina looked inside the room where the event was and pointed the woman out to robert by saying AND I QUOTE 'look, she's the one straddling Batman' i never thought i'd hear that sentence from - well - from ANYONE!! too funny.

my foot feels better although i was just getting used to my son and his friends calling me Hob - my foot turned the craziest colors. i watched a lot of movies since i wasn't really getting around too much. i liked Capote, i liked Broken Flowers, (especially the soundtrack) i didn't like Junebug, or The Ice Harvest . i've also been watching the series American Family (i got the dvd box set) and i'm really enjoying it. it was on PBS a few years ago. Edward James Olmos, Esai Morales, Sonia Braga - takes place in L.A. good stuff. i also watched Godspell - does anyone remember this musical/movie? 1972 or3 i think. it's based on the gospel according to St. Matthew. filmed entirely on new york streets and central park, and washington square and features as Jesus, Victor Garber. yeah, the name sounded familiar to me and he also looked real familiar, but it wasn't until my son said hey, isn't that the guy from Alias? you know, jennifer garner's father? and bingo, he was right. singing and everything. huh.
well, gotta get moving -

I stumble along . . . with a tumble and fall

yeah. so as i was leaving for 13 last night i took a header down my steps. not ALL of them mind you, but the last 6 or so. did something horrible to my right foot. emergency room, x-rays, blah blah blah and 6 hours later home with a bad sprain. i didn't even get any good painkillers out of the whole ordeal. AND i worked a full day today. man am i one sore sister tonight. ace bandages (i didn't even know they still used those!) ice and elevation are the order of the evening. steven is in charge of the pooch.

i'm out.

short and sweet

dame puro amor para que viva mejor.


oh, and formula 1 was in melbourne, australia where fernando alonso beat out kimi raikkonen for the win. he (alonso) reminds me more and more of ayrton senna. there's an AMERICAN in formula 1 this year! scott speed (yes, that actually IS his name) and he's been around the racing scene for a while - he started in karts at 12 i think. i can't seem to find out if he's lake speed's son though. he was a nascar driver back in the day, but also was an international karting champ so maybe? if anyone knows...
oh also - why is david coultard STILL racing? he lost his edge ages ago. he should act or something. anyhow, nice to see some cars going fast.

it's been a minute...

bolthouse farms perfectly protein mocha cappuccino. get it.

i've not been around much lately, but it's not like anyone really reads this on the regular anyhow, so i don't feel that bad. it's finally getting warmer out and this makes taking the dog out at 6AM not such a terrible thing.
work is stupid, so we shall dispense with any further mention.
my son (finally) got his own computer so i have mine all to myself. now i can find & trash all his hidden porn stuff!! haha. i bet he DOES have some, too. he's going to be 21 in june - not that that has anything to do with him downloading porn, but it just sorta hit me. thank god i'm not getting any older. (c'mon, play along, dammit!)
i watched the Situation Room with wolf blitzer last night. his guests were lou dobbs and jorge ramos (of telemundo) and they were squaring off about the proposed immigration bills by the senate and the house. nothing was actually said because the two were so antagonistic towards one another that all that happened was interrupted yelling. so much for a calm debate about important issues . then i watched the chapelle show and that was WAY more entertaining. i have a list of books but i'm too lazy to list them right now. i will recommend christopher moore's newest book called A Dirty Job - A Novel. as always it was HI-larious and seriously fun.

well, time to feed el perro.
more later...



i just saw this this morning and couldn't stop laughing. so read and enjoy! Aussie thieves try to steal a koala to sell for drug money

books and reunions

1. italo svevo’s Confessions of Zeno
2. hartley goodweather’s DreadfulWater Shows Up
3. barry crimmins’s Never Shake Hands with a War Criminal
4. luis alberto urrea’s By the Lake of Sleeping Children
5. wally lamb’s Couldn’t Keep it to Myself
6. jason deparle’s American Dream: 3 Women, 10 Kids, and a Nation’s Drive to End Welfare
7. donovan webster’s The Burma Road
8. jonathan shay’s Achilles in Vietnam
9. roger bonair-agard, stephen colman, guy lecharles gonzalez, alix olson and lynne procope’s Burning Down the House
10. jonathan lethem’s The Fortress of Solitude


so my trip to sarasota (fla) to visit my father after 10 years of not seeing him. yeah. all in all a good trip. he picked me up from the tampa airport, and since i hadn’t seen him in so long, i was really worried that i’d walk right by him. and guess what? i would have had he not said my name. the years have shortened him! he used to be 5’11 or so and now – my height. 5’7. and his eye disease – the same one onassis had – changed the shape of his face a bit, although as soon as i really looked at him he was my father the way i remembered him. i stayed at his house, which is a very nice 2 bedroom condo. nice grounds, nice pool. he is the president of the tenant’s association, so he screens potential applicants – you can rent or buy a place – i think he’s stacked the deck with attractive younger people – especially women –
some things never change, i guess, even when you’re 73. we went out to chili’s for a quick dinner and then came back and talked the night away. i wanted to know more about the history of my family and the relationships that formed my childhood. he had plenty of stories. he was always a good storyteller. it’s quite amazing how many names he remembers from the past and instances that barely made a blip on my radar screen. he kept asking if i remembered this or that and i had to say no to a fair amount of them. my memory has these blank spaces and doesn’t become a solid bunch of recollections until year 11 for me. anyhow, we had a good talk, ate chocolate ice cream and cookies and called it a night at around 1:30am. i got into bed to read. i put my headphones on – i hadn’t listened to any music all night and that’s a rare thing – the orisha’s were calling me – and i settled into luis alberto urrea’s 2nd book about life in tijuana. when out of the corner of my eye i sense movement. now i know florida is big on insects. BIG insects, so i thought it was a june bug or some other obnoxious flying, walking, creepy thing. nope. i was wrong. it was a gi-normous brown fuzzy tarantula looking spider. i don’t remember breathing. just slipping out of bed, tip-toeing to where my shoes were, creeping like a ninja to where it was and whacking the shit out of it with the shoe. my NEW shoe. well, i hadn’t anticipated the guts of the thing to be as...substantial as they were. i just ruined my father’s beige carpet. shit. i slipped out of the room – thankfully he seemed to be asleep – went into the kitchen and found (what luck) and canister of resolve carpet cleaner. spider guts obliterated from said carpet. whew! saturday we were having brunch at a great place (i was assured) called The Boathouse at the Hiatt hotel with my cousin Mark. really lovely. good food too. Mark never showed. asshole. i haven’t seen the man in a zillion years – probably since his bar mitzvah - he’s 50 now -. then i got to drive the camaro over to Longboat Key which is where all the people with money (and there are A LOT of those) hang out. then out to Siesta Key which is where all the artist’s hang out. which Key did i like better? you don’t even have to ask. Siesta is a beautiful little hamlet. walked on the beach awhile – dad stayed near the bar – he doesn’t drink anymore though – he just feels more comfortable there i guess. dinner was at a fancy italian restaurant – cafe baci, i think. nice place. more talk. no more spiders. back to tampa airport sunday for my 12:30pm flight home. next time around, he’s going to come here and visit.

well, i guess that’s it. tomorrow is the orchid show at the Botannical Gardens.

Kafka's doll story

has anyone ever heard this? he was visiting dora diamont in berlin. they were walking in a park when they came upon this crying girl. kafka asked her what the matter was. she told him that she had lost her doll. he then told her not to worry since the doll was actually away on a trip, not lost. she didn’t believe him so he told her that he had a letter from the doll. when the little girl asked him to show it to her, he said that he had not brought it with him, but if she came back the next day, he would bring it. he came back the next day after spending countless hours working on this letter. and every day for 3 weeks, he brought the girl another one. he spent a lot of time, and put a lot of thought into these letters. finally, he had to come up with a believable ending. (he was leaving germany) he decided to have the doll get married. he wrote about the man she was engaged to, the preparations for the wedding, everything. by this time, the girl was so enamored of the story, that she had quite forgotten that the doll was gone.

i wonder what became of her and if she still has those letters.
she’d be in her 90’s i guess. huh.

here's that book list you all were waiting up for

1) danielle ofri's Singular Intimacies: Becoming a Doctor at Bellevue

2) dennis smith's San Francisco is Burning: The Untold Story of the 1906 Earthquake and Fires

3) paul auster's The Brooklyn Follies

4) méira cook's The Blood Girls

5) willard m. wallace's Soul of a Lion: The Biography of Joshua Chamberlin

6) marjorie shostak's Nisa: The Life and Words of a !Kung Woman

7) martha tod dudman's Augusta, Gone

random-ness

i read this article on 'celebrity' dj-ing and these lines just cracked me up:

"I've pretty much stopped DJ'ing regularly because it's gotten to be too much of a cliché," says Zinner. "Not only is everyone in a band, but everyone's a DJ. I'm just a little sick of the whole phenomenon. I would, however, totally throw down 10 bucks to watch DJ Glenn Danzig any day."

and i read this by chance the other day and really liked it:

Windy City

The garments worn in flying dreams
were fashioned there --
overcoats that swooped like kites,
scarves streaming like vapor trails,
gowns ballooning into spinnakers.
In a city like that one might sail
through life led by a runaway hat.
The young scattered in whatever directions
their wild hair pointed, and gusting
into one another, they fell in love.
At night, wind rippled saxophones
that hung like wind chimes
in pawnshop windows, hooting through
each horn so that the streets seemed haunted,
not by nighthawks, but by doves.
Pinwheels whirred from steeples
in place of crosses. At the pinnacles
of public buildings, snagged underclothes --
the only flag -- flapped majestically.
And when it came time to disappear
one simply chose a thoroughfare
devoid of memories, raised a collar,
and turned one's back on the wind.
I remember closing my eyes as I stepped
into a swirl of scuttling leaves.

-Stuart Dybek


and i did this (free) numerology thingie that breaks down your name and the 'true' meaning of it. most of it was off the mark, (not surprisingly) but this bit rather hit home:
Private, reserved, and rather secretive, there are probably very few who truly know and understand your inner thoughts, feelings, hopes, and aspirations. Unless you learn to share your deeper self more freely, and to be less of an idealistic perfectionist, you may be rather lonely.


and this from overheard in ny: vendor guy: Here, take one. Just give it a listen. Listening is the new reading... You don’t even have to use your eyes.


the first weekend in march i'll be going to sarasota (fla) to visit my father. i haven't seen him in many years. i'm nervous, but i'm looking forward to it. i get to drive his camaro back from the airport. woo hoo! my father is 73 and still has a cool car. nice.

i'm procrastinating. i should be doing my taxes, but i know all those numbers will give me a headache and besides, at 10AM is the inside the actors studio repeat with dave chappelle. i heard it was really good. maybe i can get them done in an hour?

the sound of the other shoe dropping

sounds a lot like a BLIZZARD. i knew we'd pay for all the 55 - 60 degree days we've had this 'winter.' but man there's SO MUCH snow out there. and it's still snowing. my dog has been staring out the window since 7:30, but i'll be god-damned if i'm going out there. the latest report says an average - that's AVERAGE - of 16 to 24 inches when all is said and done.

in other news, i got a very nice birthday package on friday with lots of super stuff in it, including panda licorice bars that apparently are only available in maine. some nice e-mails and phone calls as well. my father called and sang. which is a scary thing since he's completely tone deaf. thankfully, he only sang one line of the birthday song. whew! the day passed and i didn't implode or turn into an old hag or anything, so i'm over the age thing. (for this year)


my book list for the past how-ever-many-days:

1) pedro páramo's Juan Rulfo
2) ted conover's New Jack
3) jehan sadat's A Woman of Egypt
4) bruce robinson's The Peculiar Memories of Thomas Penman
5) dick lehr and gerard o'neill's Black Mass
6) bill bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything
7) elizabeth smart's By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept


someone sent me one of those stupid quiz thingies, so here that is.
1. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single and hardly looking...
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING: russka by edward rutherford, red beans by victor hernandez cruz, and the boy without a flag (tales of the south bronx) by abraham rodriguez jr.
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD: it’s a mini oriental rug
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME: none – i had to play too many games of sorry with my son when he was little so...
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE: the new yorker and mother jones
6. FAVORITE FEELING IN THE WORLD: what does that even mean?
7. FAVORITE SOUND: definitely laughter and then jeff buckley’s voice
8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: helplessness
9. FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING: i continually hope that the dog has learned to walk herself
10. FAVORITE COLOR: green – no, brown. both
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE: depends on where i am when it rings and who is on the other end.
12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME: none in the future – been there, done that already
13. FAVORITE FOODS: brown bread, cheese, pineapples, eggs over easy, garlic mashed potatoes and sometimes a greasy cheeseburger is the only thing that will do
14. GOLD OR SILVER?: silver
15. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?: lord, yes
16. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?: nope, real one
17. STORMS- COOL OR SCARY: very cool.
18. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?: an audi 5000 turbo. RIP, diva
19. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? too many choices
20. FAVORITE DRINK: thai iced tea, water, banana smoothie
21. WHAT'S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN: aquarius
22. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI: sure, don’t you?!
23. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE: a publisher of poetry, a producer of music, and a gallery owner of photography
24. IF YOU COULD COLOR YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR WHAT WOULD IT BE? i always wanted to have auburn hair – i have the (natural) highlights though
25. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?: yes
26. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?: depends on which side of the bed i happen to wake up on
27. FAVORITE MOVIE: changes weekly – this week: smoke signals and the boondock saints
28. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?: nope. i am THE worst at typing
29. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?: dust bunnies and a sock
30. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?: 2 & 10
31. FAVORITE SPORT: auto racing (yes, it’s a sport!)
32. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH: same as above
33. FAVORITE PLACE IN THE UNITED STATES: new york city and las vegas
34. PLACE YOU MOST WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW: right here
35. FAVORITE PERSON TO BE WITH: i like my kids and my dog, other than that i’m feeling a little toxic lately...!
36. FAVORITE QUOTE: ‘every act of creation is first an act of destruction’ - pablo picasso
37. WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE SOMEONE LEAD YOU ON IN THE DARK OR BREAK YOUR HEART BY TELLING YOU? straight shooter, please
38. DO YOU HAVE A SECRET CRUSH? um, nope
39. WHO IS IT?: alright, maybe, but i’ll never tell
40. BEST PLACE TO BE KISSED?: is that geographical location or body part?
41. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU! sharon rose is a warm, kind-hearted soul
42. WHO WOULD YOU CALL YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND? no need to name names

don't play nelly at YOUR wedding...

so, the wedding:

i looked good, and i felt good.

after waaay too many hours shopping for the 'perfect' thing to wear - i was, after all, seeing my ex-husband after 15 years - i found it. 15 minutes before the store closed, and 13 hours before the wedding. so now i have a bazillion things to return at half a dozen stores this week. i have NEVER done that much shopping, and i never will again. way too stressful. anyhow, my son and i walked into the restaurant (the whole thing took place there) like we owned the place. outwardly calm, insides all jello-y. we run smack into the ex. naturally. i can not believe how SMALL he is. never a tall man (always taller than me though) he is now what i can only call petite. his new woman (whom i met and seemed rather nice) turned him into a runner. he runs like 6 or 8 miles a day. every day. i offer him my hand to shake - no free hugs from this girl - he looks at me like hmm, no hug? we exchange pleasantries. he introduces me to lisa, mentioned above. - a little back story about the ex: he's been married, including to me, 4 times. he has 5 children by all of his exes. one of which is the bride - his first child/first ex. not a very good track record. my excuse, and i'm sticking to it: i was only 17, what the hell did i know?! and i was the 2nd ex. not yet the fixed pattern-to-be. so there.
so, i move aside to speak to my ex-inlaws. whom i have always liked. lots of hugs there. very happy to see them all. tami's (one of my ex-sisters-in-law) husband rod and i have known each other since junior high school so it was especially good to see him. he's still tall and gorgeous. she's still short and adorable. perfect.
then the puerto rican contingent arrived - late as usual - making a whole lot of noise - and i began to relax. the alcohol started flowing and tongues started loosening. in these instances, i'm really glad i don't drink because i would never remember half of the funny shit that was said, and lord knows it needs to be remembered. my other ex sister-in-law, rosalie, is the most evil woman - and i mean that in best possible way - damn, i've really missed her. she said some truly hilarious things about her brother, the ex! ok. the food was good, the dj was tolerable, blah blah blah... cut to the ex getting up to read a poem that he had written especially for his daughter on her wedding day. now, i bet you can guess that it was pretty awful, and you'd be right, but mostly it was the act of a truly selfish man. here's why. instead of writng about alicyn and how much her happiness means to him and what he wishes for her in the future - whatever - he writes a totally bullshit 'poem' about how he decided what to name her and why. it was some rambling thing about when he met muhammed ali. (note spelling of daughters name)
i couldn't look at anyone at the table because i thought i'd lose it and start laughing and not be able to stop. that wouldn't have been good. turns out everyone else at the table was looking elsewhere as well. afterwards, he has the nerve, probably some liquid courage involved, to ask me if i liked his poem. i struggled with the thousands of possible answers to the question. straight out no? evade and be vague? well, i couldn't really hear it was too noisy back here? i finally blurted out um, i liked the title? (he called it pretty snapshots) he gave me a look and said well, melissa (his daughter #2) certainly is your daughter. i said hmm, was there ever any doubt? he wandered off. when i was ready to leave, i said good-bye to him and lisa. i went to shake his hand again and he said how about a hug this time - i won't bite you. i said well, how do you know i won't bite you? and shook his hand.
and as i started walking away, he said 'take care of melissa.' i stopped and spun around, walked back and said 'melissa can take care of herself' what i should have said was that i'd been taking care of melissa since she was born, thank you very much mr. sometimes sunday dad. but i have more tact than i thought i had. huh, learn something new every day. even at almost 46. a funny thing, and then i'm done with this topic. at my table was steve the therapist. friend of the family and at times therapist to the family. i met him once before and since he didn't really know anyone that wasn't in the bridal party, i sat with him. he's a super terrific guy. anyhow, he meets bruce, the ex and immediately dislikes him. says some pretty insightful things (he IS a therapist after all) and likens the ex to a slick politician who will (and does) say and do anything and everything to get himself elected. BINGO.
then there was cake and aferwards i was escorted to the dance floor by rod to dance a nice slow dance. lovely. i even allowed photographs to be taken of me. imagine!
my daughter the bridesmaid looked absolutely gorgeous and my son cleaned up rather nicely as well. i let him bail after a few hours - he was bored silly. all in all, a good day. my shoes were new, high and comfortable. what else can be said?

book list forthcoming...

happy chinese new year

i happen to be the sign of the rat and...

Though the Western rat is reviled as little more than a bottom-dwelling disease carrier, this animal is viewed much differently in the East. The Eastern rat is revered for its quick wits and its ability to accrue and hold on to items of value; rats are considered a symbol of good luck and wealth in both China and Japan. Clever and quick-witted, the Rat of the Chinese Zodiac is utterly disarming to boot. Possessed of excellent taste, this Sign flaunts its style at every turn. Its natural charm and sharp, funny demeanor make it an appealing friend for almost anyone. The Rat likes to know who is on its side and will treat its most loyal friends with an extra measure of protection and generosity.
Behind that sweet smile, though, Rats are keen and unapologetic promoters of their own agendas. This Sign is motivated by its own interests, which often include money; greed can become a problem if the Rat isn't careful to keep its priorities straight. This Sign's natural powers of charm and persuasion can definitely come in handy! Although they are often hoarders, Rats can be very generous to those in their "pack," namely friends and family members who have proven their loyalty. Others might perceive them as quick-tempered and sharp-tongued, but never boorish. Verbal jousting is a great pleasure for the Rat, a Sign that everyone around will quickly learn either to love or to hate.
Rats enjoy being on the outside looking in, as the outside affords a view into the inner workings of a system or situation. The Rat's keen mind always seeks out new knowledge, to be stored away for future use. This ever-curious Sign also welcomes challenges as a way to stay sharp. If boredom sets in the Rat is no fun at all, but that isn't likely; this Sign knows how to keep itself entertained.
A valuable lesson for Rats is to learn to consider others above themselves, at least sometimes. If they can develop their sense of self and realize it leaves room for others in their life as well, Rats could find true happiness.

The most compatible match for a Rat is the Dragon or the Monkey.

what sign are you?

babble and books (part 2?)

i think it best if after 35 or 40 you disregard any and all references to birthdays. it's not like when you're 6 or 7 and have all the kids from your class come to your party and you get stuff you actually WANT - not NEED - well, except from your family of course. though my parents tended toward the extravagent in gifts perhaps in an attempt to alleviate the burden of their own shortcomings as parents - who knows. on one birthday it took them over an hour (my friend jean told me later that night) to notice that i had actually LEFT my party. i was 12. when i was younger (and less aware) my parents sometimes took me and my sister to my father's favorite restaurant for special occasions. it's long gone, but i think it was in the east 70's somewhere. it was called Damon's. or sometimes he'd switch it up and take us to chinatown to a great place called Shangri-La. those were fun because my father had an audience and he could be really funny and charming when he was 'on'. years later i came to dread these occasions when i began to realize that not only was my dad hitting on the waitresses (and bar girls and hostesses - etc...) but on my friends as well. i also harbored a deep resentment for having been born in february because i never got to have a beach party and always wanted to. silly, i know, but a skiier i am NOT. i've never been a big fan of the cold...
so this week i've been needlessly reminded time and again that my birthday is right around the corner. i'm sure i'll get all these 'funny' you're SO old cards and people will joke about me losing my memory - 'it's the first thing to go you know - wink wink' but i expect mostly good-natured kidding around which usually i can handle no problem, but this year i'm MORE than (>) halfway through my fourth decade -by 1 year that is, and it's bugging the hell out of me. and don't think for one hot second that i'm not acutely aware of how ridiculous i sound. it's my blog and i'll whine if i want to, whine if i want to...
i guess what i desperately need to do is get the fuck out of my own head and put some mental miles between thoughts like...jesus, i am going to die alone and i still need to lose 10 pounds, dammit and please god, let no one get it into their stupid heads to throw me a surprise party because i KNOW i will NOT be gracious and good-natured about it. perhaps some cheese with that whine? ok. basta. enough.

well, i actually DO have a books list to post and then i'm going to return half the stuff i bought for this wedding that i wish was already over.


1) luis alberto urrea's Across the Wire: Life and Hard Times on the Mexican Border
2) jorge ramos's The Other Face of America
3) geoffrey canada's Fist, Stick, Knife, Gun
4) gerald nicosia's Home to War: A History of the Vietnam Veteran's Movement
5) mary karr's The Liars' Club
6) caroline moorehead's Gellhorn: A Twentieth Century Life

and furthermore...

so, how come i had to wake up at 5AM to be at work at 6AM only to be sent home at 7:30?! AND i can't go back to sleep since i've already downed 17 quarts of coffee!
but i can (and will) share my books read list with you. oh, and a hilarious survey i got in the mail yesterday for an online singles thingie. too much fun this early, i say...

1) joe rodríguez's Oddsplayer
2) daniel cano's Shifting Loyalties
3) ted conover's Coyotes
4) amarillo slim preston (!) w/ greg dinkin's Amarillo Slim in a World of Fat People: The Memoirs of the Greatest Gambler Who Ever Lived (woohoo)
5) richard p. feynman's 'Surely you're joking, Mr. Feynman'
6) mark dow's American Gulag: Inside U.S. Immigration Prisons
7) magnus mills' Three To See The King (thanks Tiny Tyrant for the heads up on this great book -i liked it better than The Restraint of Beasts!)

a few words on the books this week - sometimes i think i should include a little summary or mini-review of the books i list, or at the very least mention the subject matter, but alas, i guess i'm either too lazy, or out of time. today, i have the time and as noted above, have injested enough caffeine to keep me typing awhile. Shifting Loyalties has got to be the finest fiction written on Vietnam i've ever read. Daniel Cano is a veteran of that war, so the 'stories' have the feel of truth to them. beautifully realized. amarillo slim's book (which my daughter's boyfriend gave me for christmas knowing i wouldn't have read it already!) was so funny and full of shit - and i don't mean that in a BAD way... the biggest deal for me was American Gulag. frustrating, upsetting, heart-breaking - this book killed me to read. it makes me wish i could wave a wand over all the bad people and make them disappear forever, so the good (and semi-good) people can get on with things.

now the survey. some questions - all are yes or no, by the way. cause you can get a real sense of the truth just by asking those kinds of questions, right?

1. do you ever wonder where quality single people go to meet one another?
2. are you frustrated by the games you have to play to meet someone special?
3. are you too busy and/or do not like the bar scene, but would really like to find that special person ?

the bold and italics are theirs, not mine. there were more questions for the men, but since that doesn't concern me, i didn't bother. i think we all get the picture anyway. from these and a few other deep, profound, meaningful inquiries, one should be able to figure out that yes, they're single and looking. wow.

ok, kids, time to go to the mall and meet mr right. oh, no, wait, i mean find a dress for the wedding next week.

have a good weekend.

5:40AM and 31 degrees

this was supposed to be my day off, but instead, i'm going to work at 6:00AM. AGAIN. this has been a sucky week. AND i still have to find a dress for Ali's wedding. fuck. have i ever mentioned how. much. i. hate. shopping.??
time to go. blech!

i've come to an understanding:

some things aren't worth the trouble.